Give Me Shelter

The American people are suffering from battered woman syndrome. This psychological condition is due to abuse, usually at the hands of an intimate partner. In our case, our abuser is the President of the United States. The President has turned us into a nation of battered women. Battered men also exist, but gender is not the issue. No matter what gender you are, we are legally bound to him, as much as he is legally bound to us. The president is our Big Daddy, and in his hands, we are all being battered.

As victims of abuse we fall into two broad categories: the mad, and the bad. Let’s begin with the mad. The base of Trump’s supporters are mad. Hillary Clinton referred to the mad as deplorables. Big mistake. They aren’t deplorable at all. They have every reason in the world to feel mad. The rich get richer and the little guys keep getting squeezed by forces out of their control. They can’t blame Big Daddy because even though he’s mean, he’s keeping the roof over their heads, making sure they’re going to get good jobs, and he got them a tax cut: a pocketful of spending money. One way the mad feel good is when Big Daddy goes after the real bad guys. After all, when Big Daddy is going after the bad guys, he’s not beating them.

Who are these bad guys? These bad guys are everyone who makes Big Daddy mad: The Mexicans, the Chinese, the British, the Canadians, NATO, James Comey, the NFL, and Obama. Obama is the baddest guy of all.  Just ask Big Daddy why there are so many wildfires in California and he tells it like it is—Obama started those fires with his environmental protection laws, and Big Daddy is just trying to put out the mess. * Korea used to be a bad guy, but no more. Big Daddy likes Korea now. Every dysfunctional family has the favorite child—the one kid who can do no wrong even when all of the other kids are getting beaten. So when the favorite kid behaves very badly, Big Daddy says the bad kid is really good, kind of like Russia. Okay, the Mad Trump Base might know Russia is bad, but it doesn’t matter, because Big Daddy isn’t wailing on them. Big Daddy isn’t going to hurt them, and they feel safe…for the time being….But there is one thing for sure about Big Daddy; he’s unpredictable, and you never know when he’s going to come after you.

The mad are comfortable with abuse because it feels like home. Let’s take a look at the stages of the cycle of abuse.

Tension building: This is the phase when tension causes low-level conflict and slowly builds. This is when Daddy starts tweeting and calls bad people bad names. Big Daddy is really good at put-downs + insults = emotional abuse.  These are some of Big Daddy’s actual tweets:

Fake news, the very dishonest Fake News Media is out of control! …The failing ‪@nytimes, which has made every wrong prediction about me including my Big election win (apologized), is totally inept! …Not only does the media give a platform to hate groups, but the media turns a blind eye to the gang violence on our streets!....Drain the Swamp should be changed to Drain the Sewer - it's actually much worse than anyone ever thought, and it begins with the Fake News!...It's hard to read the Failing New York Times or the Amazon Washington Post because every story/opinion, even if should be positive, is bad!...A new INTELLIGENCE LEAK from the Amazon Washington Post,this time against A.G. Jeff Sessions.These illegal leaks, like Comey's, must stop!...Fake News story of secret dinner with Putin is "sick." … It's very sad that Republicans, even some that were carried over the line on my back, do very little to protect their President….As the phony Russian Witch Hunt continues, two groups are laughing at this excuse for a lost election taking hold, Democrats and Russians!...Sleazy Adam Schiff, the totally biased Congressman looking into "Russia," spends all of his time on television pushing the Dem loss excuse!...Liddle Bob Corker… Little Rocket Man…Such poor leadership ability by the Mayor of San Juan…I was saddened to see how bad the ratings were on the Emmys last night - the worst ever. Smartest people of them all are the "DEPLORABLES."… I love the White House, one of the most beautiful buildings (homes) I have ever seen… But Fake News said I called it a dump - TOTALLY UNTRUE…they do NOTHING for us with North Korea, just talk. We will no longer allow this to continue. China could easily solve this problem!...I am very disappointed in China. Our foolish past leaders have allowed them to make hundreds of billions of dollars a year in trade, yet...Republicans in the Senate will NEVER win if they don't go to a 51 vote majority NOW. They look like fools and are just wasting time….Crooked Hillary**

The real victim is Big Daddy: Big Daddy might feel neglected or angry and thinks that these feelings justify aggression toward the victim. In fact, Big Daddy will claim he is the victim. This is why Big Daddy keeps hollering that the Department of Justice and the FBI are conducting a witch hunt. The mad know he’s guilty, but he’s still their Big Daddy and better than Crooked Hillary,  (The Bad Mommy who did not protect them from Big Daddy). So guess what’s coming next?

Battering phase: The tension mounts and grows into a conflict. The abuser physically, emotionally, or sexually, abuses the victim. Over time, these episodes of abuse tend to last longer and become more severe.  Big Daddy fires James Comey. He is working hard to fire Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller. Big Daddy called global warming a hoax multiple times.  He made the U.S. the only nation to reject the 2015 Paris agreement on global warming, and he scrubbed any mention of climate change from the EPA website. Big Daddy insults our most trusted allies and childishly threatens to withdraw from NATO. He incarcerates 2,342 children who were taken from  parents, and placed into cages. Some children will never see their parents again.

Honeymoon phase: After the big battering incident, Big Daddy makes an attempt to win back trust and affection. This is when Daddy gets nice again and announces we’re going to have a Space Force. Woo-Hoo!  The mad have always wanted to ride shotgun into outer space on a rocket ship. Some victims idealize their abusers during this period. This is when Laura Ingraham likens detention facilities, where children are separated from their illegal immigrant parents, to "summer camps" that "resemble boarding schools," and further described criticism of the family separation policy as "faux liberal outrage.” ***

All of which brings us to the people who stand by Big Daddy even though they were not raised in rural poverty or are from working class families, where kids were shunned by the world, abused by their caregivers, and made to feel like that was normal. The people who deny Big Daddy is an abuser might not have been beaten up as kids. They probably do not feel comfortable about getting beat-up themselves, but they are willing to put up with him. These are Big Daddy’s co-conspirators. They say his reign of terror is the new normal. Get that? They are normalizing abuse, making it seem like it’s okay. But it’s not okay. They’re going to kiss Big Daddy’s ring because they really don’t believe Jesus is God, but they do believe Big Daddy is going to make a better life for them, their political ambitions, and for the Uber-Rich who paid for their political campaigns. These are the people who deny any abuse is going on: Mitch McConnell, Jeff Sessions, Paul Ryan, Marsha Blackburn, Devin Nunes, Betsy Devos… the list is endless, solidly, sadly GOP, and they share three things in common: They want to win. They want to win. They want to win.  They do not care about the mad, and wish they would go away, but someone has to pay taxes, dang it!

The liberals are also bad. Very bad.  Liberals is a broad term that includes all democrats, moderates, socialists, leftists, lesbians, queers, homosexuals, (people like that), moderate republicans, scientists, artists, the educated, the upper middle class, the professional classes, the technology classes, the undecided, and anyone who is not a Christian. The label Christian does not take into account the fundamental principles of Christ: love, compassion and forgiveness. Mercy? Stewardship? Taking care of our resources to benefit life on earth? Big Daddy and the mad think a true Christian is someone who was born again and can do anything illegal, immoral or flat-out wrong because he’s been saved. He’s been saved, dang it! He has accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior. If he does anything wrong, he will be forgiven because Jesus died on the cross for Big Daddy and the mad across America. Ask Laura Ingraham; she knows the real Jesus was blonde-haired and blue-eyed.

People with battered woman syndrome typically show signs of PTSD related to the abuse. Symptoms include difficulty sleeping, including nightmares; sudden intrusive feelings about the abuse; avoiding talking about the abuse; avoiding situations reminiscent of the abuse; feelings of anger, sadness, hopelessness, and worthlessness; intense feelings of fear, panic attacks, or flashbacks to the abuse. ****Know anyone like that? All of us experience these symptoms because we are all being battered on an almost daily basis. The most interesting aspect of repeated abuse is victims end up with a broken emotional barometer.  They tend to overreact to minor incidents, like the hullaballoo over Melania Trump’s “I Don’t Care” jacket that she wore at the Mexican border, or they underreact to things that are truly heinous. Babies being ripped away from their mothers’ breasts should have prompted people to take to the streets in massive protest.  Instead a battered America has been worn down. The battered feel shame and guilt. There is a collective feeling that we deserve this abuse. We let this happen to us. We allowed him to become president. We underestimated the power of Big Daddy, Big Money, and The Mad.

Stages and Recovery: People with battered woman syndrome change their behavior and will do anything to survive in an abusive situation. Now the mad just can’t see that far ahead, not yet.  When they get mad, they want to fight, and insult the bad guys, especially the liberals, just like Big Daddy. The mad might get bloody in the fight, but they won’t back down.  They don’t know how to pull out from a fight to protect themselves and keep themselves safe. The rural poor and working class who experienced abuse as kids had amnesia every time they were kicked in the stomach, and stopped breathing.  It didn’t happen. Forget about it. Daddy always gets like that when he’s mad. It didn’t happen, until it happens again.

I’m not sure who hurt the mad when they were kids, but a time will come when the mad will see that things are getting worse. They will see that while Big Daddy was kicking around the bad, especially the bad liberals and the bad Mexicans, that he was really using them while he slipped in tax cuts and perks for the rich, even rich foreigners who will not make America great again. Big Daddy is bludgeoning the mad, taking away the roof over their heads, their jobs, their Medicaid, Medicare and Social Security.  Big Daddy will make sure that their children and grandchildren will be worse off than they are today. This is when the mad are going to feel like they want to wait until Big Daddy is asleep and set his bed on fire. It doesn’t mean they will do it, but they sure as hell will feel that way. Average abuse survivors leave a relationship six to eight times before they can leave for good. When will the mad see that Big Daddy is going to throw them under the bus and drive right over them? For battered women at the hands of a partner or spouse, there are vast numbers of shelters and support networks in every city, county, and state across America. What do you do when your abuser is the President of the United States? Where do you go?


  1. *Lisa Friedman (August 6, 2018) New York Times, Trump Inaccurately Claims California Is Wasting Water as Fires Burn
  1. **actual tweets from @realdonaldtrump July 25 to October 12, 2017
  1. ***Jeff Poor (June 19, 2019) Breitbart, Laura Ingraham Slams Faux Liberal Outrage
  1. ***  Anapol, Avery (June 18, 2018). TheHill "Laura Ingraham: Migrant child detention centers 'essentially summer camps'"..
  1. ***The Daily Mail (June 19, 2018 Fox host Laura Ingraham under fire for calling detention centers 'SUMMER CAMPS' for immigrant children as pictures reveal the 'tent cities' where thousands are kept separated from their parents
  1. ****Zawn Villines Medical News Today (January 27, 2018) Battered Woman Syndrome: Stages and Recovery



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